Referral Pathway Document

                                                                     How to Judge if You are Doing it Right – Things to Consider

                            “The skill is to be able to see yourself from the outside and see others from the inside”

We have to communicate to the other that we have their mind in mind. 

That they are important and valuable, that we will not forget them and that we will go the extra mile for them. 

We do this by ensuring we have the correct tone of voice, that we can judge how much eye contact is necessary, that our posture is open and relaxed and that we are acutely aware of any changes in their tone, eye contact, posture in order to judge whether they are connecting with us or that we are losing them. 

These are some of the basic counselling skills and also basic human interaction skills. 

This can be extremely difficult and mentally exhausting. 

On top of this we need to be aware of ourselves and what we are thinking and feeling as this can unconsciously emanate from us and impact on them…

Suggested phrases: 

When you behave in this way it leaves me feeling frustrated... 

I am left wondering if you are also feeling frustrated? 

I know that it can’t be nice, feeling this way... 

Do you want to keep feeling this way? 

What is going on inside your mind right now?

I want to understand... 

I wonder if you are feeling _____? 

But that is only a guess...I can’t read your mind...you have to be able to talk to me... 

If I have it wrong then I am sorry. 

I am no expert as the only expert on you...is you.

You have to do what you feel comfortable doing. 

Use your own personality and character to formulate appropriate ways of working with the children. 

Be creative....(obviously staying within the realms of what is ethical and acceptable). 

Go outside, play sports, use art, music...whatever suits the child. 

Utilise appropriate humour...laughter is so refreshing and can alter the energy (or not if used inappropriately!).

Dr Faye Bellanca